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June 9, 2010

… I’m really good at them, especially when it comes to talking myself out of something.  Part of it is due to my perfectionism (see that post here).  I don’t know if it’s a self-preservation thing, but I often make excuses to myself to avoid “humiliation” or not being perfect at something.

A week ago a friend asked me to audition with her for “Oklahoma!” the musical.  I love singing, acting, dancing… but I’m almost 36.  And I have three kids.  And I could stand to lose 30 pounds.  And what if the girls I’m up against are all little 16 year olds with perfect bodies, fresh from dance class and vocal class, and a sparkle in their eye.  Good grief should I even try???

Plus, what about all that time away from the hubby and kiddos.  I can’t do that to them, even if it is only for about 8 weeks.

So, I talked to my husband who… was absolutely supportive, encouraging, saying “please, please go to this.  It would be good for you.  We’ll be fine.”

So there goes that excuse.

After the initial audition, I got call backs for Laurey and Gertie.  Laurey is the main female role and a very challenging one… it calls for a light lyric soprano, which is what I am, thank goodness.  But I thought “what if I’m called back in a room full of 18 year old Laureys and I’m twice their age?”

I walk into the room and it’s only me and another lady.   She looks 30 ish??????  Wow.  She’s a really GOOD singer, very classically-trained… and from Canada!  Anyway, we were both encouraged to sing with a slight country accent (YEAH!).  So…. I have no clue.  The director wants what he wants, so we’ll see.

Saying all that to say, if I had listened to my own excuses and not done it (like so many times before) I wouldn’t be where I am today… waiting for a call to see if I got a major part in “Oklahoma!” And I may get the call saying, “thank you very much, but no thank you.”  I decided that if I do, that’s fine.  At least I feel good knowing that I at least tried.

One Comment leave one →
  1. karen long permalink
    June 9, 2010 4:20 pm

    I think that it is awesome that you have talent to even try out for a part… I do not have that talent, but love music and dancing… so to see some one who would even be considered for a part in a play is
    100 farther then i would ever of made it..
    you go for it girl.. you are young , beautiful and chuck fulll of talent.. and they will be honored to have you be a part of their production….

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